Monday, April 18, 2011

A Lot of Unknowns...

I'm at such a weird place in my life and experiencing so many concerns that have never even crossed my mind that I'm not sure I can even describe it all.

Lately, i've been thinking a lot about my future, with S of course, and what the hell i'm going to do with my life.

I'm graduating from college in less than a month, and i'm scared to freaking death.
You might say that i've known that this day was coming for four years now, but it just recently hit me, as in knocked me down and took the breath out of me, hit me.

It all started last week when I went for my first big girl job interview and was turned down for the job. It hurt big time. And I know, I know, it was only one job interview but it was still the biggest blow I think i've ever gotten. I've spent the past four years working my butt off in school, work, and networking like crazy to graduate doing..... _________. I guess that I figured all this work would lead to me landing my dream job and being able to start the Monday after graduation. Crazy right? But that's really what I thought would happen and i'm starting to realize that it doesn't. That i'm graduating along with thousands of other people in the exact same boat that I am and we're all searching for what we want to be when we grow up.

All this is in conjunction with the fact that the lease on my apartment ends in July, i'm getting married in August, and WHERE the hell are S and I going to live? What are we going to be doing????

Yeah, so there are a lot of unknowns that are keeping me on the edge of my seat right now. I know i'm not the only girl to be experiencing all this, and thank God for my friends, family and wine to keep me sane during these next few months.

I've got a lot to figure out.

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