Thursday, August 4, 2011

Marriage counseling

Since Shane and I became engaged last year, our pastor asked us to schedule a few visits to get to know him better prior to the wedding (he had never met Shane before) and to discuss our plans for our marriage. I was a little nervous about this, because, let's face it, it's marriage counseling.

But, to my surprise, it was very pain free, and actually extremely helpful. We talked a lot about what we expected for life after marriage and "our plans" versus "God's plans" and how we will handle the unexpecteds in life.

Our pastor also asked us to talk about the things about each other that bothered us. Shallowly thinking, I said, oh, Shane smacks his gum, or doesn't fold laundry like I like it, but then Shane pointed out that I worry too much and he hates to see me get so stressed about things I can't control. This caught me a little off guard, but it's so true. I worry about everything (blame it on being the child of a high anxiety mother and a worry wart dad)

Our pastor elaborated a lot on this as well as discussing how there are going to be a lot of things out of our control. He gave me a few bible verses to read and reminded me of the serenity prayer.  

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can,  And wisdom to know the difference.

Hearing his advice and seeing how badly Shane wants me to be happy and carefree, I knew this was something I need to work on.

I have had some pretty stressful things happening this week with my family, moving to a new house, and trying to finish up preparing for wedding planning. This week has been an emotional roller coaster and i've really gotten worked up about a lot of things that are beyond my control. At the end of the day, i've got to realize that I can write schedules, to do lists, and plan my life until my head is sore, but something, (and sometimes it will seem like everything) is going to go wrong. Easier said than done, but hey, I'm learning.

In the midst of all this, i've realized one thing, I prayed a long time ago for God to give me patience, and he did. Just not in the way I thought he would. He gave me Shane, who has enough patience for both of us.

1 comment:

  1. i cannot accept the fact that i know a friend..MY age..that is in MARRIAGE counseling right now. WHAT IS HAPPENING